Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, has accused Vladimir Putin of stealing one of his Superbowl rings, to which I say — You stole it first, Robert, so can you really claim to be a victim?
“I took out the ring and showed it to [Putin], and he put it on and he goes, ‘I can kill someone with this ring,’” Kraft said during the Carnegie Hall’s Medal of Excellence gala in New York City.“I put my hand out, and he put it in his pocket, and three KGB guys got around him and walked out.” <source>
But as we all know, the Patriots are 0 – 2 in honest Superbowls, with three others Disqualified because of the spying tapes of opponents’ defensive schemes and signals. Even more damning is that the two losses came after the cheating had been exposed, and so the verdict is in: Kraft’s Patriots cannot win the Superbowl without cheating. (To understand the depth and extent of the cheating, see this essay comparing Tom Brady to Charles Van Doren: Has Tom Brady Seen Quiz Show?)
Here is my favorite post-script to the story, courtesy of Yahoo Sports and the New York Post:
According to the Post, the ring is now kept in the Kremlin library — presumably in the “Ill-Gotten Booty” section.
Yes indeed, the “Ill-Gotten Booty” section, but by “Ill-Gotten” Kraft and the world must surely know that this refers more appropriately to Kraft’s original procurement of the ring through fraudulent means, and not just Putin’s procurement of it from Kraft.
Sorry Robert, but the popular delusion that you and Bill and Tom won three rings is just that: a delusion.
The truth hurts, and Valdimir must have thought as much as he pocketed a ring that was never truly yours.